an "ah ha" moment.

holding my hand in his sleep..
he may have been snoring. 

sometimes, i get to wondering..how it would be to just wake up one day, and have clean undies in my drawer. clean dishes in the cupboard. food in the fridge, in my lunchbox, on the table...

it is easy. so so so way too easy to look at the other side, and think it's better, easier, more glorious.

i had an "ah ha" moment tonight.. looking down at my dress, heels, pretty wedding ring, rubberband around my wrist, fingernail polish on my nails...then i started looking around my house..the blanket i'm cuddling with, every single thing, including the roof over my head, someone provided for me.

my husband paid for all of this stuff... he's worked hard, day in and day out, to provide a really good life for us.

there is JOY, and PEACE, and even ENJOYMENT in my "role" as woman, wife, mother..by taking a step back and really appreciating tylers "role" as man, husband and father. yes, i said enjoyment in that load of whites on my bed, and that salsa mess for the second time today--ENJOYMENT I SAID!
because, when it comes right down to it..i wouldn't ever want to trade places. not ever. and i am so thankful that i get to play this role as "stay at home mom". so so thankful.

enter: joy. peace. enjoyment.

joy in laundry. peace in dishes. enjoyment in quiet days with my baby, playing tea set, reading the same "pinkalicous" book a million times.

i lose that, all that joy and peace and enjoyment when i lose appreciation for the other role in this marriage.
simple. yes.
life changing. yes.