Callie Z Casper Birth Story

it all started friday the 2nd, so my last post.
i went to my apt.
i was still measuring 33cm, she same as 2 weeks prior.
also, not a pound on the scale..even after all my efforts!
i was also having lots of contractions that morning, like lots.
i was so afraid i was going to go into labor and deliver a 4 lb baby.
my  midwife ordered an ultra sound, to make sure everything looked okay. i was having a break down. i am so happy tyler was there. i just wanted to see a healthy baby in me...
the ultra sound went well, and although a little painful with my contractions (likely brought on by my anxiety and stress levels) the tech said that the fluids looked good..we just have a tiny baby in there. my midwife showed the ultra sound the one of the doctors over them, and he agreed with her, that everything looked good.

tiny is okay with me. i am not under the delusion that i will ever be able to make an 8 lb baby. i make small humans. and that is a-okay. but, the ultra sound said that she was weighing 5 lbs 4 oz. ultra sound measurements can and often do go a pound either way. and at almost three weeks to go, i felt like, i could make her grow a little more before her big debut.

we left feeling good.and hopeful that we were gonna keep her in until the 19th at least. (for her sake, and the sake of our savings)

i continued to have contractions all through the day putting me and everyone else on high alert... tyler canceled his trip to FL for the following day. my mom canceled her trip to LA for the following day as well. just in case.

they finally stopped around 8pm. i went to bed, and said a prayer, and i was just felt like, okay, she can come when she's ready. i am never going to be totally ready..so she can come when she wants to come.

next day, no contractions. i felt like, good! she's going to give us a few more weeks.
i was really tired on saturday. and for the first time, i opted out of walking, and chose a nap.
i also packed a hospital bag, and purchased a pack of newborn diapers. lol.
tyler cleaned out the garage, and did the yard, i cleaned the house.

sunday was good too. we took it easy.

monday was great. tyler went to work. i took lyn the park. i did our laundry and cleaned our bathrooms.
i wanted to do sometihng fun for family night, tyler got on the phone and we went to the legacy center that night with the means family.

while at the legacy center tyler pulled mr hero on us, and caught a life guard who had passed out up on her tower.. carried her to lifeguard room while she was convulsing. he was pretty proud of himself, and i was thinking how handy he is to have around. and, life is never boring.

anyways, i started to not be able to breath in that humid indoor pool, so we got our things together to leave. we decided we'd stop by mcdonalds for icecream on our way home.

when i got into the car, i had a missed call and an voicemail marked urgent. weird. i listened to it & it was the midwife on call, saying she had some info that Dr Parker (one of 2 doctors over the midwives) wanted her to pass on to me.............
panic mode instantly.
i called her back, which is actually just a page, and we watied.
i have never seen either doctor, ever. i did know that on friday, my midwife showed my ultrasound to Dr. (i cant remember the other doctors name) and she said he thought everything looked great.

she finally called me back as we pulled into mcdonalds.
she said, that dr parker got ahold of my ultrasound and was very concerned, he felt like this baby needed to be born, and strongly suggested an induction, that night.

what?!?

my midwife stayed nuetral on the situation, just telling me that it is totally up to me. and that whatever i wanted to do, we would do.
i told her i'd call her back.

tyler instantly was on board.
i was much more hesitant.
i wanted her to grow more.
i did not want to deliver a 4lb baby.

the doctors concern was that i wasnt gaining weight, and neither was she. a week or 2, probably wouldn't have made any difference. it was like twilight. ha. not really, but that's what i kept thinking. it was like, she was taking everything from me, the only problem was, i didn't have much to give. we were both losing.

so, we made the call and told the midwife that we were giong to do the induction.

we went home, and planned on being at the hospital at aound midnight. timpanogos hospital.
i made some calls, one to my dad.
he mentioned in passing if we had checked if Timp hospital was in network with my insurance, i said yes. we had and we were all set.
i for some reason mentioned this to tyler and he confirmed, yes we had checked and yes it was in network..
then he decided to double check.

not in network.
my insurance is with IHC. american fork hospital.

.....

so, we made the call--- goodbye all our supplemental plans we had been paying on for a year. about 3k dollars.. hello american fork hospital. (later finding out that infact all our supplemental plans DID pay out, anywhere! i dunno what we were thinking, but the fact that all this is going to work out...divine intervention. i have no doubt)

now i am on anxiety level about 9.

we call my midwife and inform her of the change, she sighs a big sigh of relief! she said that, in her expirience with timp hospital, because they are not non for profit like IHC, and just built a huge NICU center it was very likely that our baby would spend some time in the nicu< just due to her being early< and the fact that she wasnt giong to be a big baby. there's a name for the condition.. isg or something.

anyways, whew.

i decided to get into the shower, and try and relax a little. i got undressed and stood in front of the mirror and sobbed. i felt like i needed to mourn the end of this pregnancy for a second. i loved being pregnant this time. loved every second. i loved having her inside of me. loved my belly. loved it all. and it was about to end. how many times in  my life am i going to do this? how many times is it going to go so amazing? i dont' know. but i sure loved it all.

tyler was alarmed. haha i didn't expect him to understand.

i got into the shower, and cried and cried and cried.
i cried because i was scared.
i cried because i didn't want to leave lynley.
i cried because i wasnt ready.
i cried because i felt like crying, and at 9 months pregnant, i hear that's reason enough.

we got lyn in the car, and all our stuff, and we headed to alpine to drop her off at my moms.
the car ride there was..weird. surreal.
i hugged and kiss lynley a million times in her sleep before we left, and whispered in her ear that she'd always be my baby girl and i loved her so much. she looked so peaceful in her sleep. and i swear i could see her newborn tiny face, nose, and lips that i stared at for hours when i had her.

and then ten minutes later we walked into AF hospital. it felt amazing to know where i was going, i felt at ease.

then we rang the phone to let us in, when they asked what we needed tyler responded, "we're here to have a baby." i laughed so hard. he always makes me laugh when i need to laugh, especially because i was really about to start crying agian.

they walked us to our room, and i got undressed, they hooked up my IV, my midwife placed the cervix ripening pill, i popped an ambien, and fell asleep.

woke up at around 7 am, expecting to have this baby within a few hours.
ha ha ha.

they started my epidural around 1 when i was dialted to 3.
then they started pitocin at around 2 to get things going..after still being at 4.

i was stuck at a 5 for like 5 hours or something.
during that time, i let my epidural wear off somehow...
and let me just say, i will never have a baby nautrally. never.
i was in so much pain, i couldn't even stand it. like literally i was going crazy. the pressure! oh my heavens. i will spare the details here.but man oh man.

my midwife was amazing.she is new to the practice, and i had only met her once, but when i met her, i felt a connection with her and wanted her to deliver me so bad. but she didn't start officially delivering until around the 19th..they happened to be super busy that night, so she was with me. i do not think that was a coincidence.  so was my nurse. she said all the things i needed to hear, when i needed to hear them. i didn't feel like i was on a strict time table, she made me feel like, my body was doing what it was supposed to, that everything was going to be great.

they gave me a stronger dose of epidural. and i was super numb. and it was fabulous.
my midwife told my mom and tyler to leave me alone for a little while and for me to sleep.
i was hesitant at first, but tyler insisted.
so i put my head phones in and jammed to this song...and i kept thinking this officially makes me a teeny bopper giving birth.

i was in and out of sleep for about 30 min before my midwife came in, and checked me ( iwas still half asleep)..and she looked shocked. she said, "you ready to have this baby courtney?" no! yes! i called my photographer, "get here, now" then iw as like, oh, i should call my husband lol i guess on the phone i was like, "you should probably come up now"..

so i went from a 5 to a 10 in 30 ish minutes.

now, my FAVORITE PART.
everything was calm.
we waited for my photographer to get there.
tyler mentioned he wanted to deliver the baby, jokingly, and instead he washed and robed up and positioned himself to deliver our daughter. my mom was holding one leg for me and my other midwife on the other side.
they could see her head already.
tylers face was, priceless. he was so excited. and nervous.
they said, okay, start pushing.
i was laughing, because i had forgot how?
i kind of pushed..and then my midwife was just like, okay now a few short giggles!
i was laughing my daughter out.
literally.
i "pushed" for a whopping 5 minutes.

then she said, "reach down and feel her!"
strangest moment of my entire life.
i totally pulled a Kortney Kardashian.
amazingggg.

then, tyler delivered our baby girl.
he put her on my chest, and she never left.
she was beyond gorgeous. and i cried and cried and cried.

it was so amazing.
the images are so vivid in my mind, and i am so happy that i had a photographer there to freeze those images for me for forever.

i had her. and guess what! she wasn't 4 lbs! in fact, she was bigger than lynley was! 5lbs 11 oz.

i didn't tear at all.
so amazing.

and that was that.
she was there, healthy.
it was such a beautiful experience, and it was the spirit was so strong.
all my fears about not bonding like i had with my first, pshhh.
i loved her all the way 100% instantly.
instantly.

although our guy Mitt lost that night, November 6th will forever be one of my favorite days of all time.
Callie Z Casper came into our family, and she really is the perfect little missing piece.