Dawn.

while staying in goodyear, az.. we had to chance to meet many many people. and like i have said before, many were recieving treatment at the cancer treatment center of america that was just up the road. they are adding on to the building, so they house their patients at nearby hotels for weeks at a time.

we loved meeting with people, and talking, they loved gushing over my two cute girls in swimsuits.

the hampton inn. that was a weird time in our lives.. and looking back a few months, it has a weird aura about it. if that makes any sense. it's a big blur, with snipits of intense memories. i don't know. anyways, it was hard. and i don't know how we did it honestly.. some mornings i would wake up and just want to throw giant pitty parites for us. not get out of bed, and watch the jodi arius trial all day long.

but lyn wanted to see her friends.

so we would get up, and head down staris, were we were greeted by all sorts of loving people, calling
"lyn" by name. we were greeted with smiles and good mornings. happy people. people with wigs on. people with ports in. people, frail, and thin. people in wheel chairs. people alone on business trips. retiree's on their annual spring training trip...

one day we met a woman named Dawn. her and her daugher (my age) and husband were all there from Alaska, she had already had a run in with cancer. the treatments had destroyed her teeth, and taken all her hair. she was the sweetest lady! and all of us really, hit it off. their daughter who was my age had a 4 year old as well, just as sassy and crazy as lynley. they loved playing with her, a little reminder of a little girl they were so far away from and missed terribly.

every day, me and dawn would sit by the pool, watching lynley play. roger in the shade with the newspaper, their daughter entertaining lynley..

one day, dawn came to me with tears. they had found new cancer spots... she was devasted. i had no good or right words to tell her. she then, was just filled with hope. she was so greatful to be at this amazing center, and on the right track to beating this once and for all. she was just, radiant with, faith and hope. i looked at her...fighting for her life..and just felt awful. how had i been so, shallow? what in the hell did i have to hopeless about?!

from that day on, my whole outlook on life changed. i decided to enjoy where we were. and my days were happy.

before we left to the next hotel, dawn and i exchanged info. she was going to be there for awhile, and i wanted to be able to come and see her, be available if she ever needed anything. she wrote her info down on a hotel business card.

i recieved an email from her about a 2 weeks later (2 hotels later for us) saying that she had had a fever and therfore couldn't get her port put in, but that she had enjoyed her visits with her kids! she was trying to get back to alaska for a few days before all her yucky treatments started hard core. i tried to reply right as i recieved the email...but it got sent back to me. over and over agian.

i began to feel this, urgent feeling, to find her and contact her. but with all our moves.. i had lost that card. i searched for that card everywhere. i never stopped looking for it. everytime i drove by the cancer center, my stomach, ached to talk to her. i called the center over and over and over agian, begging for info. i called hotel after hotel, and with all the freaks in this world, no one was willing to give me the info...

i of course went to the internet, but with only  a name and the state of alaska.. my searches ended very quickly.

fast forward: i have been bugged lately to read this book called the second rescue. a teacher brought it up in sunday school..and ever since, felt urgently that i needed to read it. so, finally did. it is horribly written, and a nightmare to read.. but while reading it, i felt good. it is about the Riverton, WY stake and how they did all the temple work for the Martin and Willie handcart compaines. and then found thousands of more pioneer names to do saving ordinances for. the people testified of the real power of those that have gone before us, and how thin the veil can be.

fast forward more: while in utah, i was able to spend alot of time in the temple.. this was the first time, that i felt the people i was doing work for... the veil was thin.

when we got home from utah, the next morning, i was sitting on the edge of my tub and i looked down. and in the middle of my bathroom floor was a card. the very card Dawn had written on.
i fell down on the ground and picked up the card.... my heart was racing. where did it come from? how did it get here? i felt this overwhelming feeling of urgency to find her.

it didn't take me long. a quick search, and i had found her. she had passed away on april 29th here in arizona.

i started to sob. i cried. i wished so much that i could've... i don't know. really, i wished that i had shared the gospel with her. shared with her about eternal families. and the joy and peace that the true gospel of Christ brings... i didnt. in that moment by the pool..i chickend out.

once agian, urgency took over me. and i was hunting down the missionaries in her area..calling bishops, and explaining this crazy story about how a card, appeared, on my bathroom floor that morning.

sharing the gospel... its not something i have expirience with. it makes me uncomfortable. it makes me.. stutter, and chicken out.

why?!

i was determined to do this. i wanted so badly to share with this family who i loved and appreciated, the gospel. why? because really for the first time, i have a burning testimony. i have always had a testimony.. but now it, is so sure, that i am ready to share. i want to share. i want to shout it from the roof tops, i want to tell everyone.

i felt Dawn that day. i felt her as i spoke to the missionaries, as i was googling her obituary, as i googl earthed her address, as i found the church buildings close to her.. i felt her as i prayed, wondering what i should do next.

i have no doubt, that Dawn, now knowing the truth wants her family to know as well. to bring them the joy, and understanding that she now has.

anyways, i am still working on getting the elders out to Dawn's husband and family..but since the communication that i have had with them, it's looking good. they are such good, strong poeple. i can't imagine going through this life, without the knowlege that i have have of eternal families... especially after losing someoen so amazing as Dawn.

they have all touched my life. in very significant ways. i hope that i can be the Lords hands. and Dawn's for that matter.

the church is true. people are in and out of our lives everyday.. i have learned to, reach out, and make something of those relationships. make the phone call. send the text. invite that neighbor over. even if it makes me nervous, or even if, the feeling is fleeting. i don't want to ever have the regret that i had as i read Dawn's obituary.

Dawn was an amzing woman. and she really truley touched my life. i think of her often, and hope to someday see her agian, and tell her thank you. thank you for the days by the pool, and also thank you for the opportunity to help her, in giving her family the gift of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.