Time.

lately i feel like time is like a handful of sand. i keep trying to grip it and hold on to it.. but it just keeps slipping between my fingers.

the summer is flying by. we are keeping super busy with the house. tyler has been putting late late nights. and trying to juggle his job, and then his night time job (house) ... i'm not sure how he's doing it. trying to juggle the budget, and the timeline and the subs. IT IS SO MUCH WORK. plus now it's getting to the things that he;s doing himself..

yeah. i wish that i could be more help.

i have to document for my kids to know.. that we have been SO blessed every step of the way in this process. it's been amazing, and tyler and i often lay in bed in amazement at the way taht things have come together. money working out JUST PERFECTLY. for no good reason. blessings falling out of the sky all the time. so many things.. makes me realize how watched out for we are. how... thigns are seriously falling into place. that this was ALL meant to be. all part of the "plan". from start to finish. from Grandma GG watning us to have the land. to every tiny little detail. yeah, tyler has worked his butt off for a year and a half. but not by himself.

Also, with Jakes cancer. time. hope. faith. disappointment. patience. i'm learning a lot this year. learning that.. sometimes there isn't anything "figure out". you cannot plan every little thing in your life. time does "go on". every day, becomes yesterday. the sun comes up and it goes down. we cant stop time. and we never know what tomorrow brings. all we have is TODAY. trying to keep hopeful in the face of darkness... it's so hard. but it is possible. trying to keep the faith, when all you know is tossed in the air, is painful. facing the unimaginable kind of disappointment that takes your breath away and not letting that darkness take over is... unbearable, but it CAN be done.
i'm learning that the LIGHT is there. the peace that God offers is THERE. but we have to choose it. we have to go to it. becuase the darkness is overwhelming. it really is. i have never felt dark like i have recently. even thought i know the light is there.. it is hard to actually allow it to penetrate me.
but you just.. have to.
i do anyways.

i want my kids who read this someday ot know.. that no matter what the present looks like. no matter what hard thing is going on right now.. God is there. and there is a plan. we dont know the why's of life. we dont know hardly anything about life. but the things that we DO know are so important to hold on to. and never ever let go. becuase those things are the things taht get you to tomorrow. LIGHT is always there. it's our choice to let it in. no matter the circumstances. no matter the pain. or confusion. or sorrow. it's there no matter what we have done! we just have to reach out and it'll be there.

anyways, thats my deep deep thougths for tonight. i am so far behind on this blog. i never have enough hours in the day to document all the happenings of our life. i am regretting that. the famiyl albums are so fun to flip through. the every daylittle stories and photos. but i hope our chatbooks fill in the holes of the big albums and i can keep a little family albums in each place.

we are so blessed. this is a crazy scary unknown happy light blessed season of our lives. and i am very thankful.

k heres some pics that i have!