slow me down.

today was jessica & gregs wedding. & it was great.
it was busy, and sweet, and honest, and everything that a wedding should be.

whats crazy, is how much of a freak show i know i'm gonna be on lynleys wedding day..
i will never be able to be all cool and happy about giving my daughter to some boy.
some..boy! ugh! when it comes to my baby, every and any boy is just "ugh".

a slideshow? forget it. if she wants me to be a bawling mess, ask for a slideshow..
i mean, i just don't think i will be able to handle it.

we have our babies, we raise them, we spend millions and millions of hours with them, holding their hand, smothering them in kisses, singing songs, even though my voice is the worst of the worst, reading, cooking, bathing, brushing, disciplining, loving, helping, explaining, answering, hugging, holding, healing, teaching, watching, listening, playing, tickling, providing, ...we are they're everything.
and then they fall in love, and start their own lives.

it's happy, and devastating. all in one. not that i am fully aware first hand..but i can only imagine.

also..lynley got her second major head wound tonight. (first head wound)
after all these feelings of loathing her wedding day, and wanting to protect her forever, and just keep her tiny and sweet..
she starts bleeding from the skull. and i want to cry.
but, i mean, i don't.
but she does! that dang chandelier. so low! my babys head!

anyways, she's tired. and sick. and now with a head wound..
i kissed her goodnight, and sung her rockabyebaby by request, as everynight, and she was asleep before i finished.
i love that little thing in the next room. and i'm sure grateful she loves me too.
time to slow down for a few days..i mean move at a crawling pace. get her healthy and ready to party in WA for second chrismtas. (wedensday shall be first christmas)
slow.me.down.
life is just too fast right now..


and the state of my house is visual proof.